My Journey…..

Hi! Well this is my first attempt at writing a blog and I have high hopes that it is going to provide me with somewhere to talk about my thoughts on parenting, motherhood and also the big black dog in the corner of the room Post Natal Depression.

I have PND and I am really embarrassed and ashamed of it, like it shows me as a failure. Why do I feel so ashamed and embarrassed by it? Is it because society in general put a label on me and I am somewhat looked down on? Or is it just the general whispering about me by other people because you have a mental illness??

I try very hard every day, sometimes a LOT of times a day, to remind myself that I didn’t choose this, or ask for it and I didn’t do something wrong to get it. But boy its hard. Even those closest to you don’t always understand and its hard to explain, and because it all comes about from having a baby which is supposed to be one of the happiest times in ones life they really, really don’t understand. My psycho-analyst told me last time I saw her that it can take between 2.5 – 5 years to recover from PND depending on how severe your case is. Boy that is scary.

Motherhood – Wow what a blast! You just never know what you are going to encounter from one day to the next, which can be pretty cool. Watching your child grow is just amazing and mind blowing. I looked at Alissa the other day and the thought just hit me, she isn’t my wee baby or even a toddler any more, she is a little girl. Gone is the rounded toddler body and occasional clumsiness, these have been replaced by a the body of a little girl – with really long legs – I so know she didn’t get that trait from my genes!

Any who, enough of that for now, just wanted to say Hi and we will see where this journey takes us!