My Journey…..

I got the cast removed yesterday and am now in a moon boot with a riser which is good because I can finally have decent showers – wahooo!

But that aside I am in a very dark place again and am having moments where I really wish it was all over and that I wasn’t a burden for anyone and that hubbie and the kids could get on with their lives without me holding them back. Even though in my moments of rationality, I have to agree with hubbie that the kids do love me and do need me and that he loves and needs me as well. My children all end up coming to Mummy for a special Mummy Cuddle when they are tired or wound up of they have been hit by one of their siblings or fallen over etc.

It is just its really hard to cling to that in these times of of blackness. I feel so unworthy and useless and more of a burden than anything positive. Because of my leg I can’t rush to the kids if one of them is crying and I can’t carry them to bed or run around on the lawn with them. I know at some point my archilies will get better, but its all taking its own sweet time.

So yes, I really do think that my leg is playing a big part in all of this and there isn’t really a lot I can do to improve the situation except be patient and rest it as much as I can and don’t over do it when I do go out.